What Men's Therapy is Really Like: Relating on a Personal Level in a Professional Relationship
As a practice where we specialize in men's therapy, we often hear from men that they knew they needed therapy but just couldn't take that step. Often, it was because they had an impression of what therapy would be like and didn't think it was for them.
Television and movies are often where we as society gain our perspective of what therapy is really like. Often the therapist is portrayed a stuffy, judgmental authority figure who looks down their nose at their clients. Or on the other end, the therapist is portrayed as a tad bit unstable.
People who see a therapist often do so because they have a friend or family member who saw a therapist. Their friend or family member then relayed to them their experience in seeing a therapist.
Women tend to be more verbal and social (it's just brain science). Women may share with certain friends and family their experience with therapy.
Because women do this, the curtain around the mystique and mystery of what therapy is like is lifted for their friends and family. They hear about what therapy is really like which is much different than what is portrayed on T.V. or the movies. Women then are more likely to see a therapist.
On the other hand, for men who see a men's counselor, it's not often that they talk about this with their friends or family. Many men tend to be private about this part of their lives which it absolutely respected.
But because men tend not to talk about their experience in men's counseling, there remains a stigma, mystique, and mystery around what men's therapy is really like.
And some men like it this way. It provides an excuse to not see a therapist. After all, men's therapists are all either judgmental or unstable themselves. How could someone like that help a man?
And I get it. I personally am not going to see a therapist who looks down on me, judges me, or where I am more stable than they are. But in my personal and professional experience, I have not come across this.
A Realistic, Behind the Scenes Look at What Therapy is Really Like
I have heard of Jonah Hill. I know he's famous in Hollywood. But beyond that, I can't tell you what he is famous for.
But one thing I am really looking forward to is his upcoming documentary that is coming out on Netflix, November 14th, 2022. The documentary is about his men's therapist and his therapy journey. He is providing a behind the scenes look at what his relationship with his therapists and his therapy experience are really like.
And this without Hollywood creating a sensationalized view of therapists and the therapeutic relationship between a man and the therapist just to make the show or movie more entertaining.
I was sent the official trailer and want to post it here. I don't know how the documentary will turn out. But what I saw in that trailer hits the nail on the head on two fronts:
What the feel of being in therapy is like, and
What the relationship with a therapist is really like.
This short clip reflects our experience as therapists who specialize in men's counseling. The relationship between Jonah and his therapists is like the relationship our men's counselors have with the men they work with.
From this clip, I want to highlight 3 truisms between what we see in the clip and what we see at Katy Counseling for Men. But first, watch this short video trailer:
Men's Counseling at Katy Counseling for Men: The Reality of Men's Counseling
There are several, on point, truisms that this trailer reflects and is absolutely our experience as men's counselors. I'd like to highlight a few below.
Let's Be Real: The Role of Authenticity & Relatability in Men's Counseling
As men's counselors, it's important that we are our authentic selves. Just like in this clip, you can see the authentic relationship that is has developed between Jonah and his therapist.
There will be times where serious things are talked about. That is the process of therapy. But an effective men's counselor knows that serious things will not be talked about if the therapist is not his authentic, genuine self. Trust is built around authenticity. And trust is essential in therapy for men.
If you didn't know what the trailer was about, you would think that it was two buddies sitting down and talking with each other. The difference is this buddy has specialized in helping men overcome specific obstacles in their life that block them from building a stronger future.
Jonah and his therapist relate on a personal level in a professional relationship. That is often how men's counseling should be and is at Katy Counseling for Men.
Let's Be Real: The Role of Humor in Men's Counseling
We also relate to the moment in the clip where the therapist talks about this being a "real special moment". It was a genuine comment from his therapist. He was able to identify the work that was done in that moment and validate Jonah for it.
Then he jokingly tells Jonah that he wishes he would stop dumping so much of his shit on him. They both laugh. This could be taken as a rude and disrespectful comment. However, what it does show is the relationship that has developed between Jonah and his therapist that they can joke like this and appreciate it.
There will be times where tough stuff will be talked about in therapy. There may be some hard work that is required in between sessions. As men, we aren't afraid of doing hard things.
But it's also important to inject some levity and humor into therapy sessions. A seasoned therapist who specializes in men's counseling can use humor in an appropriate way as the relationship develops.
And this makes going to therapy that much more enjoyable when you know it won't be all serious, all the time.
Let's Be Real: Life Can Get Immeasurably Better if You Push Through the Fear & Take Action
I can appreciate the statement made by his therapist:
"Take action, no matter how freighted you are. If you can teach somebody that, they can change their whole life."
Men let's be real. If therapy didn't frighten us, we would be in therapy. Some of us make a lot of excuses based on fear of why we don't need therapy:
I can do this on our own, I don't need a therapist,
I'm not weak and only weak people go to therapy,
I don't have enough time,
It's too expensive,
What is a therapist doing to tell me that I already don't know, etc.
If we're being real, we are afraid of:
What we think going to therapy might say about ourselves and our perception of ourselves,
Feeling like we are weak in asking for help,
What others might think if they knew we were seeing a therapist,
Confronting those inner challenges we've ignored for too long. and
We are afraid of the possibility of failing.
Meanwhile, the excuses and the fear block us from our lives getting "immeasurably better", as Jonah puts it.
I have seen the principle of pushing through the fear and taking action and life getting immeasurably better time and time again. I have seen it in my own life and in my own therapy.
And I have seen it over the years in my professional life as a therapist when men, women, teenagers, young adults, and children push through the excuses and the fear -- their lives have become immeasurably better.
For those who were offended by the above statements, maybe ask yourself why those statement offended you? If we're being real, might there be some truth behind the statements that might hit a little too close to home? If so, come talk to me about it.
What We Help With at Katy Counseling for Men
At Katy Counseling for Men, our men's therapists help men overcome challenges in their lives. We help men overcome:
We also have therapists who specialize in couples therapy and marriage counseling. Our relationship therapists can help to strengthen your relationship with your spouse or partner.
And sometimes a separation or divorce happens. This can be a very challenging time for a man. Often, women have a large support network that rallies around them during a separation or divorce.
For men, that support network may not be as strong or as many. It can feel isolating and lonely. The stress and emotional pressure can be heavy during a divorce or separation. This can have an impact on us personally and professionally.
At Katy Counseling for Men, we provide divorce therapy or separation counseling. We provide support for men who are going through a divorce or a separation to help make this transition a successful transition for them in their lives.
We also know that men differ on their preference in their approach to therapy. Some men benefit and prefer talk therapy approaches like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT).
Other men may benefit more and prefer non-talk therapy approaches to men's therapy. We also offer neurofeedback, Eye Movement Desensitization & Reprocessing (EMDR), and Accelerated Resolution Therapy (ART).
Our therapy approaches, whether talk therapy or non-talk therapy, are supported by research and shown to be effective.
Don't wait. If you are struggling with a challenge in your life, reach out to us today.
Our therapists are specialist in men's counseling. If you are experiencing it, chances are we have worked with many men before you who have struggled with similar challenges.
Katy Counseling for Men: Specializing in Men's Counseling in Katy, TX & Houston
Men, if you are experiencing challenges in your life that interfere with your ability to strengthen relationships, advance your career, and find happiness and life satisfaction, don't wait, reach out to us today. Your life can get immeasurably better!
At our Katy, TX location of Katy Counseling for Men, we are ready to help. If you are ready to start building a stronger future, all you need to do is follow these three simple steps:
Contact Katy Counseling for Men
Meet with one of our specialists in men's counseling
Start your journey in building a stronger future today
Other Support Services Offered at Katy Counseling for Men: Katy, TX & Houston
At our Katy, TX location of Katy Counseling for Men, we have a variety of both talk therapy and non-talk therapy approaches in counseling for men. Below are a few of what we have to offer:
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
Accelerated Resolution Therapy (ART)
Eye Movement Desensitization & Reprocessing (EMDR)
Counseling for anxiety
Counseling for social anxiety
Board Certified Neurofeedback
Peak performance (optimal academic brain performance)